From:  Conny Baumann
Date:  Sunday, September 11, 2005
Subject: "Back in the UK"

How many emails have you had with....back in the U.K as a title?  I know group mails can tend to feel impersonal, and promise to reply to individuals soon. 

Well, I am back, Sri Lanka as you know was amazing, the work, the people and just being there.  A friend kept reminding me that what I felt there was not real, but being back makes me realize how real it was, and how unreal we have all become.

South Africa was warm, very expensive, and it reminded me of make up being an essential as a girl.  My brother finally decided I was ready to drive his cherished 4x4, which ended up being really easy with power steering.  I have become such a bad driver in my own car since being back, and have driven into a few sidewalks forgetting that I still have the good old fashioned steering that needs to be turned, and turned, and turned, and then held very tightly!  An amazing thing happened on the way to South Africa, I met a guy in a book shop, who I will refer to as book guy, anyway, he let me cut in a massive cue at windhoek.  I thought my flight was leaving for Joburg, but as usual, I got the times wrong.  Went to a coffee shop where book man had befriended another man, and was giving him pounds in return for a coffee, he offered to buy one for me, so now there was a bookman and a coffee man.  Anyway, book man ended up being a property developer in Cape Town and Coffee man was a pastor, which I thought was a slight sign, seeing I had ask for one on the plane.  He ended up being a pastor of a church I had visited just before leaving Sri Lanka.  We spoke about the service, I did not remember seeing him there, but apparently he was away.  To cut this very short...he asked me what I had done in Sri Lanka, I told him bits, not quite sure what, but he took my number and wants me to get in contact with him as he is in charge of funding people to do things like that!!!!! Can you believe it.  Wow, so that was a bit of a shocker.

Being back at school has felt so strange, seeing there are only a handful of old staff members left.  I still can't remember anyone's name apart from the new staff in the early years.  The new ones seem all bright eyed and eager, as most of them are NQTS, bless them.  And us oldies just seem to be counting down the days.  Our head seems more involved this term, so lets hope it works out okay.

I find myself questioning why the world has to be like it is, why bad things have to happen, I think of New Orleans, and wish I could be there, doing something.  I know how much I long for a home, a family, and every time I look at the news all I see is more and more people losing the one thing I desire.  I used to question where I was at, and what I would do, I used to question the state of my life, saying that there must be more than this.  The more I spend time with amazing people that I meet, the more I realize that there is more than this, there is more than working 14hours a day,  there is more than having the latest software installed on your computer, there is more than making sure you can find a space in your diary.  I think this summer has taught me to take each day as it comes, with its failings, with it's highs. That each day is a new beginning.  I have learnt that my confidence is a quiet one, it is who I am inside, who God made me to be.  I know that God speaks to me quietly and I know that I can hear him.

So what next, who knows, will wait and see what that day brings.  I can't believe I am back in my flat, with dodgy windows, and creaky doors.  My neighbours refurnished my flat while I was away, put up shelves for me and even hoovered....No they are not the typical London neighbours, how sweet are they.  I must have the most amazing neighbours in the whole of London! 

Anyways, I hope you all have an amazing week, look forward to hearing from you all soon.

Love Conny